Comfort Food

12 step program

What does that even mean???

Two week checkup day… Time for the doctor to take off the bandages and make sure I was healing ok. Thumbs up, looking good! As I was shedding the lovely hospital gown for my own comfy Lululemon getup, the duty nurse came in to give me my take home orders. “Plenty of rest, no heavy lifting, blah blah, and remember,” she says, “comfort food has a lot of sodium.” What? Huh? What does that even mean???

My mind began to wrestle around with her statement, and I haven’t been able to shake her voice, and that tsk tsk tone!! Homemade macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, chicken fried everything; of course these things have a lot of salt. Everyone knows that!

Why do things that taste and feel so good have to be … So BAD?!!! I mean, C’mon! I just had major surgery. I have been bedridden, in pain, not able to work- can’t I get a free pass for some “comfort”?

My mind turned to my first Fourth Step Inventory. I mean my real first inventory, not the countless ones where I would kind of write a few things down to get a naggy sponsor off my back. I mean the one where I was committed to my third step decision and willing to launch into the fact finding and fact facing mission that is required. I gotta say, it felt bad. The truth was hard to look at, in black and white, the resentments and harms from a life lived on self, the defects of character acted out time and time again, the things that were blocking me from Power. Not pretty.

But I did it, and have done it since, and even though the discipline never gets easy, knowing the freedom at the end of the entire 12 step process provides the motivation necessary to continue. So yes, I have experience with being willing to trade comfort for freedom. As the saying goes, no pain, no gain.

So for now, hold the salt please. I’ll be better for it tomorrow.